I've been a klutz for most of my life, and the one true advantage of that is... My threshold for embarrassment is pretty darn high. Which is good because I ultimately end up doing embarrassing things every single day.
Today I did so at Starbucks.
My colleague/friend Ellen and I had agreed to meet at a particular Starbucks this morning. We had met twice in one day about a month ago when we both coincidentally had the same conference followed by the same networking event, and due to the similarity of our firms' investment mandates, we wanted to make a regular event of meeting up to discuss investments and market color.
When I got to the coffee shop we agreed on, I gave myself premature *pats* on the back for showing up ahead of time and actually going to the correct Sbux, unlike yesterday... but that's a whole other midtown misadventure that deserves its own telling.
With 5 minutes until our scheduled meeting time and the line moving up at a promising pace, I decided to get my coffee first. Since this was serious-ish business, I passed on the decadent drinks and got a no-nonsense grande Pike. *Pats again, for grown-up coffee selection* But in all honesty I can only down that with a truckload of sugar and a boatload of milk, so I proceeded to the coffee modification stand.
As I was ripping open my third Domino sugar packet, I thought I spotted Ellen's blunt bob across the way, in the order line, so I threw my right arm into the air like a windmill and grinned as big as I could. "Hey Ellen!" She saw me but must not have heard, and appeared to stare right through me. That's funny, I thought, I may have only met her once, but she definitely did not strike me as the shy type.
Being the act-first think-later genius that I am, I decided that the best course of action would be to mosey on over and force recognition. So that is exactly what I did.
"Hi!" I beamed, willing myself to look as recognizable as possible. She just looked at me suspiciously, clutching her wallet more tightly.
"How are you?" I insisted, noticing for the first time that she had gotten highlights since our last meeting. She shifted from one foot to the other, her eyes now darting around, not meeting mine, and clearly looking for an egress. No words, just noticeable discomfort.
"Busy day, huh?" I enunciated, motioning to the ebb and flow of Starbucksers around us, thinking maybe she couldn't hear me even though at this point I was standing a foot and a half away from her. Hm, did Ellen get new glasses, I wondered now that I as close enough to notice the details, because I could've sworn, the last time I saw her, she had frameless --
"Um, hi Shel" I heard from directly behind me.... prompting me to turn around to face... the actual Ellen. In that moment, I wanted nothing less than to disappear immediately and forever.
Frozen, I let Ellen (the real one) lead me away from the poor New York City doppelganger who probably didn't anticipate being talked at by some random crazy stranger at 10am when she stepped out for her mid-morning coffee. I stammered an apology though by now the entire shop had witnessed my embarrassing blunder of face blindness.
...Those city-slick baristas were definitely judging me behind their silly green aprons.
