Green Canteen Day #12

Well, y'all. I've reached Day #12 of my 100-day green smoothie challenge and still going strong. I'm still hitting the gym 3-4 days a week and doing about 4 miles of cardio, but I've also incorporated some strength training. Sunday and yesterday were "leg days" and Monday and today are "upper body" days. Tuesday was my rest day.

I am just beginning to realize how little I know about fitness. Here are just three major myths to which I had once subscribed:

(1) It is enough to just "get movin'." Previously, I thought that as long as I fit in some cardio during the day, it is enough to feel good and look good. But it is more complex than that. According to fitness gurus that I follow, building skeletal muscle is just important as building cardiovascular health and endurance. Muscles help you burn more calories just by existing as well as look more toned.

(2) I'm a girl so I must be a pear. Have y'all heard of the body type analogy: apples vs. pears? Pears gain weight in their hip whereas apples gain weight in their stomach area. I had assumed that as a proud carrier of two x chromosomes, I must be in the pear variety, but nope, I'm an apple. Yes, after vainly studying my physique in the mirror, I've determined that I indeed gain a lot of my bulk in my stomach area. This is really, really bad, because this is the type of fat (visceral) that causes heart problems. The other type (subcutaneous) which is more associated with weight gain in the hips, is less dangerous. Well, that stinks.

(3) If I lift, I'll get beefy. Another misconception I had my whole entire life was that if I start picking up those dumbbells, I'm going to end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger of the seventies. My vain butt didn't want that. But I realize now that first, I probably cannot even physically become that bulky. And second, I was imagining all my muscle on top of my current self. In actuality, as I build muscle it will probably be at the same level as where my fat currently is. So it won't really increase my width of existence... if that makes any sense at all. Anyway, I am assured that I won't become the female terminator, because several fitness gurus I follow lift much, much heavier weights than I do and they don't look "bulky."

So there you have it guys, I'm a lifter now :)

What's this, you ask? Vanilla whey protein! There is a Vitamin Shoppe right by my apartment and I decided to go in one day. Saw a lot of different protein powders, from beef-based to soy, in isolate and concentrate forms.

The two guys working there were very helpful. It was completely empty so they were both speaking at me, almost trailing me as I wandered lost-child-like through the labyrinth of a store, explaining the different types of powders and supplements, helping me reach anything taller than 5 feet (LOL). They didn't bother telling me their names so in my head, I named the first guy 'Ceps and the second guy Pec's. The first guy looked like real life version of Pop-Eye after a can of spinach, and the second guy looked like if you ran into his chest, you could end up with a concussion.

Anyway, I couldn't believe the sheer variety of proteins out there. I decided to go with a whey blend (meaning it has isolates and concentrates).

The protein actually tastes really good and adds a hint of vanilla flavoring to my green smoothies. Gives it a more "whole" taste. I started incorporating it into my smoothies yesterday. I dropped 1 scoopful (16g of protein) into a 28 ounce spinach/yogurt based green smoothie and it was very delicious.

The other three packets are just samples that the guys at the Vitamin Shoppe gave me. I have no idea what they are but I am assuming they are also to be mixed into liquids and consumed like normal? In any event, I will report back once I've tried them.

OK, I'm off to the gym now!

Green Canteen Day #5

The start of my 100-Day Green-Smoothie Challenge

I recently (and by recently, I mean 5 days ago) became a hypocrite. I’d never espoused "fad" dietary changes, and in particular, I’d regarded juicing and smoothies as “real dumb.” I also didn't think gluten-sensitivity was a thing. But this is what happened to make me take back my words and decide to go on a 100 day green-smoothie journey:

The last time I wrote in this blog (holy heck, has it really been 7 months?!), I was starting a new job in New York City. All was great. That is, until in the span of these past few months, I gained six pant-sizes, my midsection burgeoning uncontrollably and spilling out of waistband after waistband. Dang.

I bought new jeans, sadly passing over the size 4 shelf that I once frequented to reach for the 8’s and then 10’s (keep in mind that I’m a person of limited stature so while size 10 sounds OK for a normy, it equates a pretty sizeable strain on my smaller frame), and followed up the sad mall excursion with a trip to Haagen Dazs (nothing quite cheers me up the way dulce de leche drizzled in fudge does). I bought new slacks (no more cute colors like plum and kelly green - gotta stick to slimming black and navy), and comforted myself with a sloppy, sloppy all-the-way double cheeseburger and a heaping bag o’ fries from Five Guys. I made those purchases with decided defeat and sullen stoicism. I should just accept my new reality, right?

But then I hit rock bottom, when I found myself perusing the maternity yoga pant section. Nope. Final straw. Camel’s back - broken.

I decided I needed to find myself. I’m sure I still existed somewhere …. underneath all this carbohydrate-enabled tonnage.

I went to visit my parents, and took a good look at myself in a full-length mirror for the first time in nearly half a year (no room for such a contraption in my NYC apartment). The trouble really was my tummy. It jutted out stubbornly, making things like pants very uncomfortable. Even when I woke up in the morning, my stomach was far from flat; it looked like I’d just eaten… for two.

I weighed myself for the first time in forever (again, no room for such a thing in NYC, so, thanks parents for letting me panic at the scale in your home). But get this: I weighed the exact same as I did when I was a size four: 130 pounds… What?!

I re-calibrated and tried again. Day after day. Still 130 pounds. Totally weird.

This prompted me to look deep into the interwebs (a dangerous place, I know)... And this is what I’ve found so far:

(1)I probably lost some muscle mass. Fat weighs less than muscle so maybe it balanced out.
(2)The apparent width-gain may not be fat at all - it might just be bloating/water retention from eating badly.

Here’s the thing, guys. I had already stricken wine and soda from my consumption list in January as 2015 Resolutions (prompted by my propensity for dental caries), and it has done nothing for me. I had begun a 6 week candy-hiatus for Lent, and surprise surprise, no effect. I had taken on 4-5 miles on the treadmill for 3-4 sessions a week (prompted by a need to decompress after work - 8 straight hours of staring at a spreadsheet, mentally willing your offset formula to work is enough to drive anyone batty). Nothing.

In other words….It’s not as simple as calories in vs. calories out.

My trusty Google nutrition degree tells me that it might be digestion. Maybe eating crap piled on crap for all these years really caught on to me; it might also be specific… Maybe I’m not eating enough roughage. Maybe I’m sensitive to lactose (which I consume every day in coffee garnish form and in babybel cheese wheel form) or to gluten (which I consume every day in all conceivable forms).

Ironically enough, I used to internally scoff a little when people who don’t have Celiac disease tell me, “I’m gluten free.” Of course you are, the mean little voice in my head would say, And what are some other ways you’re a special, special little snowflake? Especially because I really did know someone who had Celiac disease and I felt angry that others were almost making light of it by saying, oh yes I can’t do gluten either, boo-hoo. It felt disrespectful toward people with Celiac disease.

Anyway. This is why I never blog anymore. I intend to write like three sentences about why I am making a lifestyle change. But end up with the Magna Carta. Saved in Drafts. Forever.

Essentially, I’m going to try have a green smoothie every single day for 100 days (roughage for the win). I started on Sunday, and this is my 5th day. Concurrently, I am going to try to cut lactose for awhile, and then cut gluten for awhile (but not at the same time, because "controlled experiment") to see if it alleviates my literal growing pains.

I’ll update as much as I can. Wish me luck, guys!